Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Trauma Center: New Blood (Wii) - Jimmy's Perspective

My much wittier counterpart, Kate, had done an excellent job of delineating almost every aspect of the game that I believe makes it terrible:

--The dialog and plot of the game are something that a 14-year-old erotic fiction writer would contrive... On a bad day.

--The cutscenes would be fantastic if the human mind were capable of a level of gestalt that could render storyboards directly into cinematic masterpieces.

--Gameplay is similar to exercises a kindergarten student could do. The only think that makes it more difficult is the amount of time the player has to complete the ridiculously simple tasks. If a game creator can't be bothered to make something a bit more complex, they'll just make it faster to piss you off. Speed not equal good.

-- The opening video is an obvious rip-off of House MD. Even the characters later in the plot are directly lifted from House (save for one whose gender was changed despite leaving the role and -isms the same). Given the blatancy and the lack of creativity, it seems the creators didn't go to ivy league school. Or maybe that's actually a symptom of actually having gone to an overpriced, under-qualified school like Harvard.

All of those things aside, it is a riot to sit with a few friends and mock the hell out the whole thing. It's worth renting once after it gets sorted onto the discount shelf. I had no idea that letter grades were to be assigned when I agreed to write this blog with Kate so forgive me if my grading is a bit stingy at first.

As a serious game: D+
As a something to be laughed at: B*

*A- if alcohol is involved

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